There were more OMFG and "Holy Sh*t!" moments this season on True Blood than we can count, but after slamming a few bottle of O Neg and spending some quality time paging through out Eric Northman journal, we were able to round up the five most fang-popping moments of the season to prepare you for today's big
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1. Tara is gay!
After Tara booked it out of Bon Temps and joined an all girl cage-fighting troupe, she fell in love with a sexy lesbian and got herself some good old fashioned girl-on-girl action. Eh, BFD right guys?
One of the best things about True Blood is the fact that sexual preferences are no big deal. Bon Temps might be a backwards podunk town when it comes to vampire rights, but they’re totally ahead of the gay pride curve!
2. RIP Sophie-Ann!
We love ourselves a good Tru Death — when else do you get to see a fount of blood and guts explode all over the place in slow motion?
It was devastating to see Sophie-Ann bite the silver bullet, but her death was as epic as her life. Bill’s blood splattered face looked like a Jackson Pollock painting. She would have been proud.
By the way, is anyone else wondering where Sophie’s lover Hadley and her illegitimate fairy child are?
3. Bill fangbangs his great-great-great-granddaughter!
Our minds were blown when Bill took Portia Bellefleur up on her sexy proposition and they got jiggy with it!
true blood season 4 on salesex scenes never cease to amaze us with how not safe for life they are, but little did ol’ Willy know Portia was related to him.
Apparently sexing up your relatives is the new black. How else do you explain the fact that almost every relationship in
buy true blood season 4is worthy of its own reality-TV show?
4. Sookie and Eric get down and dirty!
In the most poetic, beautiful, it hurts so good, way ever. It’s tender, it’s romantic, and it’s sexy as hell. Plus, let’s not forget that Eric had the mind of a virgin and the body of a sexpert.
There’s no way he wasn’t shedding emo tears while giving Sookie the Viking ride of her life. Name any position from the Kama Sutra and we guarantee these two rocked it. Eric just broke his six-hour record!
5. Jessica breaks-up with Hoyt and hooks up with Jason!
Not only did Jessica dream-murder Hoyt, but she added insult to injury and broke up with him! We can’t believe these two are over after everything they’ve been through.
It didn’t take Jess more than five minutes to move on the the next six-pack, and before we knew it she was sexing up a storm with Jason in the back of his truck.
We want to stay loyal to Hoyt and hate on Team JJ, but we have to admit — Jason and Jessica are kind of cute together. Sorry, Bubba, but you know what they say: Out with the old, in with the Ghost Daddy.
